Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
