thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
