Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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