so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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