His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
is that a dick in a sweater?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
