Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize