go do what you do best...puke behind churches
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
