capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dick very happy bro
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
