...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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