have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
