I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
