What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
