Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
