a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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