so that wasnt chicken after all
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
