How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
