After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
