I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Shame - the story of my life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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