if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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