is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
