I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
