have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
