Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
