I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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