dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
