too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
