Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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