those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
