I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
