my phone needs a breathalizer
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
