I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
