It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
