YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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