My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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