i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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