Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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