You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
