So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
