Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
