He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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