I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
