I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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