Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
