I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is wine microwaveable?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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