i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
PANTIES FOUND
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