And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
