well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
