Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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