I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
