While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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