Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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