when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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