I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
