This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
