i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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