i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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