Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize