I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
