If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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