I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
