An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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