also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
