your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
