One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
