the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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