i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
